STUPID HUMIDITY! STUPID LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER INSTRUCTIONS! »
"Jerry, check out these newfangled stats. 'Wins Above Replacement?' The fuck does that even mean? I mean, it even sounds ridiculous... 'wuh-inz?' What is that?" »
[Shakes head demonstratively]
["Throws" contents of bucket labeled "Scorn" at computer screen]
[Adjourns to early dinner with 30 colleagues in mailbox-sized supper club]
-Former longtime CCWAA President Jingles "Bob" SparkleBozo-Chass »
One Of The People Who Signed This Contract Is Asleep At The Wheel... And It's Not Who You Think It Is »
"Oh, NO," said an unidentified friend when asked about Ross' deadly shooting, "That just can't be true!" »
Are you sure it's a UGA tribute? It may just be a reminder that a lot of things can happen as a consequence of stealing. »
They kind of orient themselves in a way that doesnt cause any problems. Plus, they generate an unbelievable amount of warmth down there. And, oh, the pungent smells! And the salty-and-sweet tastes! Plus, they work pretty well for sex-things. I'd come back.
That class was an extemporaneous, mandatory 40-minute lecture entitled "Now You've Done It: How To Be Winners As Winners." »
"That was something, with the singing and the bright lights. Really, it sent a shiver down my spine."
-Earl Campbell, on mild physical activity »
Oh, that's <i>you</i> next to me! I could've sworn from the smell that a liniment-and-GU-Gel factory had exploded nearby. »
"Boys say wha; girls say wha-what... Blaze a blaze, galang-a-lang-a-lang. Purple haze, galang-a-lang-a-lang."
-Excerpted from affadavit of eyewitness Wes Welker »
"I'm just glad he didn't get seriously hurt."
-Davis' wife, after seeing Terrell on NFL Network, a turbulent airplane, a rusty motorcycle, a sodden playing field, a creaky stepladder, a tour of a shabbily-maintained medieval cathedral, strong painkillers, a sturdy hang-glider, a Revolutionary-War-era staircase, a powerful … »
I hope they'll be able to rebound from this; Lord knows they aren't going to be able to shoot or steal or make consistent defensive stops out of it. »
Oh, come now, Tom. You really expect Cutlers to worry about interlopers catching something they toss out there? »